The holiday season can bring up complex feelings and memories, especially if you're navigating trauma or past painful experiences. Here are some strategies to help you manage your trauma and prioritise self-care during this time:
1. Set Boundaries and Plan Ahead
- Honor Your Needs: Recognise what feels comfortable and safe for you this season. You’re not obligated to attend every gathering or event, and it’s okay to decline invitations if they don’t serve your well-being.
- Prepare Responses: People may ask personal questions. Having prepared responses can help you feel in control. For example, you might say, "Thank you for asking, but I’d rather keep things light today."
- Prioritise Comforting Relationships: Spend time with people who uplift and support you. If you’re with family or friends who understand your journey, let them know you may need their support this season.
2. Create Your Own Traditions
- New Rituals: Create personal traditions that make you feel safe, empowered, and loved. This might include watching a favourite movie, cooking a comforting meal, or spending time in nature.
- Grounding Exercises: Integrate grounding practices, like meditation, journaling, or mindful movement, into your day. These small rituals can help you feel present and calm amidst holiday pressures.
- Practice Gratitude: Gratitude exercises, even if simple, can help shift focus to moments of peace. You might keep a small journal where you jot down one thing you’re grateful for each day.
3. Manage Expectations
- Release the Pressure for Perfection: Remind yourself that the holiday season does not have to be picture-perfect. Avoid pressuring yourself to feel joyful just because it's expected. Your feelings are valid.
- Focus on the Present: Take one day at a time. The holiday season can feel overwhelming when viewed as a long stretch, but focusing on small, manageable moments can make it easier.
- Allow Yourself to Feel: It’s natural for difficult feelings to arise, especially during family gatherings or holiday moments. Permit yourself to feel sadness, anger, or grief without guilt. Processing these emotions in a safe space, like journaling or talking to a therapist, can ease some of the weight.
4. Plan Self-Care Strategies
- Prioritise Rest: Make rest a priority. Overstimulation can easily heighten anxiety and stress, so create space to rest and recharge in ways that work best for you.
- Self-Compassion Practice: Acknowledge your courage and resilience for facing the season. Repeating affirmations like, "I am strong," "I am healing," or "I deserve peace" can create a calming ritual.
- Avoid Overcommitting: Check in with yourself before committing to plans. Saying no to things that feel too demanding or stressful is an act of self-care, allowing you to preserve your energy.
5. Reach Out for Support
- Therapy and Support Groups: Many people find comfort in connecting with a therapist or support group before or during the holidays. These safe spaces can help you process feelings and learn coping strategies.
- Identify a Safe Person: Have a trusted friend or family member on standby for moments when you might need to talk, check in, or even share a comforting silence.
- Crisis Resources: If you find yourself overwhelmed, crisis hotlines and support resources are available and can provide immediate support. It can help to keep these resources saved in your phone.
6. Honor Your Progress
- Reflect on Your Journey: Take a moment to acknowledge how far you’ve come. The fact that you’re consciously preparing for the season shows immense growth and self-awareness.
- Celebrate Small Victories: No matter how small they seem, each step you take toward managing your well-being during the holidays is a success. Allow yourself to feel proud of these accomplishments.
- Set Intentions for Healing: Think of this season as an opportunity to continue your healing journey. Set intentions, like “I will prioritise peace over perfection,” or “I will honor my needs first.”
You have the right to protect your well-being, and you deserve a holiday season that respects your healing journey. Taking small, intentional steps to honor your needs can make this season a gentler, more compassionate time for you.
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